Leadership & Social Awareness - Aisling Executive Coaching Ltd.

It’s critical for companies to hire and develop more effective managers and leaders capable of moving their organization forward during both good and challenging times. That requires looking beyond traditional strategies for management development and cultivating the skills most important for success.

One of those skills, perhaps unexpectedly, is empathy — a vital leadership competency.

When a team member shows signs of emotional strain, your first instinct may be to offer solutions. But jumping into fix-it mode can backfire. What they often need most isn’t advice—it’s presence. Here’s how to attune yourself to others instead of defaulting to doling out advice.

Start with your intention. Shift your mindset from solving to supporting. Let the other person know you’re here to listen without judgment or urgency. Your goal is to help them feel safe, not to offer answers.

Calm your nervous system. Your energy sets the tone. Slow your breathing, remove distractions, and ground yourself before the conversation. If you’re stressed or reactive, postpone the meeting.

Stay curious. Let go of assumptions. Ask open-ended questions to uncover what they’re really feeling. Don’t just listen for words—also pay attention to tone, body language, and pauses.

Use your body to listen. Eye contact, silence, and reflective phrases signal you’re fully present. Mirror their emotions subtly, and resist the urge to minimize or relate the conversation back to yourself.

Close with reflection. After emotions settle, thank your team member for sharing with you and invite them to identify next steps. This reinforces their ability to self-regulate and problem-solve.